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How To Deal With "Negative" Emotions

Feb 03, 2021
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Bingeing can be fuelled by physical and mental restriction, but more often than not, it stems from not knowing how to deal with difficult emotions.

“I ate 3 slices of cake last night because I was lonely”

“I binged badly yesterday because I felt alone and was bored”

“I had an entire pizza and cookies because I had a bad day at work”


This was me for years, and it’s something I hear from women all the time. If we can learn to move through these emotions, we’re well on the way to kicking bingeing out of our lives!

So today, I’ll share a few more tips on how to handle unwanted emotions and not let it take over you and lead to a full on binge every time.



Most often, the emotions we’re looking at are:

  • Sadness

  • Shame

  • Helplessness

  • Anger

  • Vulnerability

  • Embarrassment

  • Disappointment

  • Frustration


Scientifically, it’s been found that we take about 90 seconds to move through feelings. Sometimes it’s a little longer, sometimes less - but, on average, we only really feel the sensation in our body for 90 seconds. That’s not that bad, is it?!

And it’s that bodily sensation that lasts 90 seconds that’s most uncomfortable. If we can learn to hang out with it for a minute and a half, then we can definitely tolerate the emotional aspect.

But I feel lonely / sad / frustrated for more than 90 seconds? Yes, you may! But this is due to you letting a feeling or thought linger. You keep calling up the same memory, the same thoughts, re-firing off the same feelings. It’s the story that sticks.

And THAT is in your power. You choose whether or not to keep bringing up a memory or situation in your mind that relives the unwanted feelings.



Self-soothing means you internally resourcing to move through the ‘negative’ emotion. It means finding it within yourself instead of using external means to calm down. Instead of going to food to make you feel safe, comfortable, relieved - we’ll use this healing strategy:

  • When you feel a ‘negative’ emotion, take a few deep breaths and notice where you are at. We want to slowwww down instead of run away.

  • Name the emotion: “I’m feeling sensations of sadness right now”. We don’t want to identify with the emotion by saying, “I am sad”. It’s just a sensation within our body.

  • Tell yourself “I am safe - it’s ok to feel what I’m feeling”. We need to remind ourselves that it’s actually OK to feel a ‘negative’ emotion. We’re so conditioned to think it’s bad and look to escape immediately.

  • Notice the sensations in your body and breathe into the tension. Notice any desire to “leave your body” and retreat into your mind. Push through this by spending a few moments actually feeling what the ‘negative’ emotion feels like in your body. Is it a tightness in your stomach? Or a contraction in your chest? We want to feel it in our body instead of going to our mind to create stories out of it, like “I’m sad because I’m a loser with no friends”.

  •  Visualise the roots of a tree, grounding you to where you are, through the soles of your feet. Feel energy moving through you into the ground. You are safe where you are!

  • Stick with it even if it’s uncomfortable. Know that it will pass soon!

  • Relax into it. Breathe. Notice if the feeling shifts. It may just a matter of moments before it passes!

  • Ask what here to teach me? What does it need most from you? If the feeling persists, ask these two questions. All emotions are clues - they’re there to tell us something. If it’s an uncomfortable emotion, it’s telling us something is a bit off. So ask it what it needs!

  • Take action on that. It might be you’re feeling anger towards someone and need to get something off your chest. Or maybe you’re feeling stressed and need some to take a few slow breaths. Sometimes you can even resource an opposite emotion within yourself. You can imagine calmness / peace / love and invite it in. Allow that energy to slowly engulf the ‘negative’ one. Feel it radiate around your body.


  • Journal or embody. Move your body to help process the energy in your body.

  • Write a letter to your inner child and talk to them like a loving, nurturing and protective parent. Ask your inner child what it needs most. How can you love it more?

  • Listen to the healing inner child meditation. If you have my 30-Day Reboot course, this guided audio is beautiful. If not, there are plenty on the Internet.

  • You don’t have to do it all alone. It’s ok to ask for help from a friend, or even better, find support of a coach/therapist/healer who can help you learn to soothe your nervous system.

  • There will inevitably be times when there’s no one available to support - in those moments, learning to self-soothe is a very powerful skill.

I know learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions is a big task. It’s stripping away everything we’ve been taught so far - to run away from ‘bad’ emotions! But it’s worth it! It’ll help you let go of the need to binge and finally be free!


  • List 3 emotions you’ve felt recently that caused you to binge.

  • How did you deal with them?

  • How will you love them in the future? What will you do when you feel them?

I’m excited for you to try out this self-soothing method! DM me on Instagram for any for help with it. Or let me know how it worked for you!

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