Comparing Yourself To Other Women? Here's What To Do

Comparison is the thief of joy

Hell yea! But it is the thief of so much more than that! It’s the thief of loving yourself. It’s the thief of your wellbeing. It’s the thief of stepping into your own power.

Comparison never stops! You can always find something in someone else that you don’t have. And I can guarantee you they’re comparing themselves to you in some way and they believe they don’t measure up.

So the first step is recognising that comparison most of the time isn’t serving you well. It’s not in alignment with your best self.

WHY DO WE COMPARE?

Understanding the why can be helpful. 

Comparison can be a protective measure - it’s a scared part of ourselves looking out for us. It’s logic goes: “If I compare myself, it’ll help me identify what’s ‘wrong’ with me, what’s unloveable, what’s not good enough yet. Then I’ll know what to work on. Maybe comparison will inspire and motivate me!”

So in a weird way, we’re trying to help ourself. BUT! That’s coming from a fearful, lower energy part of us. We want to act from that better version of us.

Therefore, firstly we can thank that part of us for TRYING to keep us safe. But letting it know we’re moving past that patterning now.

Now that we get why we’re sinking into comparison and that it’s not truly serving us, what next?

WE GET SUPER AWARE OF IT HAPPENING

Notice when you’re falling into that pattern. Maybe you’re on auto-pilot, scrolling through Instagram, flicking through photos of women with ‘better bodies’ than you. And you start to get an icky feeling in your stomach. Or maybe you mind starts racing - “What do I need to do to be more like that? She gets so many likes. What should I eat to get her body? Or rather, not eat…”

So notice the comparison. And notice the following reaction in your body and mind.

Now lean into that discomfort - let it be there. It’s ok. Let yourself know you can handle that discomfort. And then ask it: “What do you need right now? How can I love you more?”

Maybe the answer is to remove yourself from this comparing situation - close the app! Maybe it’s you reminding yourself that you ARE more than enough right now.

By comparing yourself, you are giving away your power. Your unique power. You’re telling yourself subconsciously that you are not enough. And we definitely don’t want to continue feeding into this unserving narrative.

CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF GOING FORWARD

These boundaries come from a place of love. That best version of you - what would she want you to do in these moments? Probably to notice the comparison and close the app. And give yourself that reminder of how amazing you are.

The boundary is there to protect your wellbeing and energy.

So there we go! Those are some super helpful steps I, myself, use when I catch myself going down that comparison spiral!